I remember, often with fondness, my Mum talking about, “Where has time gone?”, etc.
Now I find myself with alarming frequency thinking the same … I guess that’s what you call getting old(?).
Just today, my best mate’s “uvver ‘alf” asked me to dig out some photos of us as we were growing up (we’ve been mates for over 40 years), in preparation for making a collage of photos for his party gathering.
As I too approach a major milestone birthday, the ‘years’ are undeniably ‘in my face’ and ON my face! No longer can I hide from being an old fart! However, with the passing of years the recognition and true understanding of interdependence ‘sometimes’ helps to soothe my depressive mind. By this, I mean often things don’t go the way I would hope and (very) slowly I am learning that you can only do your best. Expect to make mistakes, expect disappointment and get used to it! Expect that not all questions have answers, expect that sometimes the questions that come up in our minds may never be answered and some may be answered after a short delay or a very long time.
Whilst looking back at photos for my mate’s party, I noted just how awful I looked sometimes. My self image was never very good at a younger age and is not much better now … but here’s the point of this little epistle. I accept myself entirely for who I am (and this includes all the shit) and I would wish this for you all. That doesnt mean I am happy (a joke I make at my expense in the company of my ‘besties’ – I don’t want to be happy and I don’t like smiling – I want to be a grumpy old sod!). I’ve tried to change but the reality is that I am who I am and I do occassionally learn new things, mostly when, through my impetuosity, I do outrageous things.
Remember … you’re only young once, but you can be immature forever!
Recently whilst visiting a hospital with a friend, I had put a £20 note in the parking ticket machine for a £1.30 parking fee … all of a sudden the machine started pumping out 18 £1 coins, upon which I shouted very loudly, “I’ve won! I’ve won!”. The few souls around me were concerned as to the state of my mind; thenI cracked a smile and said, “They only let me out for day trips!”
With love, peace and hope.
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