The roulette wheel in our minds

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When I talk of my feelings, they can’t be wrong or untruthful because they are my feelings.  My feelings can process, respond to and interpret a situation in an entirely different way to someone else experiencing the same situation.  That doesn’t make either of us right or wrong because it’s not a factual response.  Instead, it’s an interpretation based on a number of factors.  Different experiences at different times can evoke a whole host of responses from me.  Some may be logical and socially acceptable, whilst others may seem entirely irrational.  But our feelings are ours and can be influenced by all manner of scenarios.

I am painfully aware that sometimes these feelings are dangerous and shouldn’t be trusted, as they will be driven by fear or regret.  Depression is a horrid disease.  Unfortunately, there seems to be no known cure for the chemical imbalance that causes this sometimes-warped view on life and occurrences.  And so we try to find ways to manage living with depression or we attempt to train ourselves to view things differently.

A different colour

I have a friend that once reflected an observation he had made whilst working with Special Forces around the globe.  He had noticed that these brave and courageous men and women viewed things differently and in doing so seemed to hold a secret to true happiness.  He explained that these guys chose to do work that engages them 100%.  It has to, because a moment of self-doubt, regret or fear of what might happen can mean the difference between life and death.

He went on to say that we as individuals in ‘ordinary’ lives often spin the roulette wheel in our mind.  If the ball lands on black it represents a regret, sadness or guilt from our past and if it lands on red, it represents a fear of a present situation or something that might happen in the future.  The Special Forces that go into the most hostile of environments have to force the roulette wheel scenario out of their minds and go for it in the moment.

In roulette, it’s mainly all red and black, with only a small chance of getting green.  How much time do we spend focusing on the scenarios of the ball landing on red or black on the roulette wheel?  The bottom line is, even in the darkest of days, it makes a real difference if we can seek out a different colour and search for that green, training ourselves to make it a habit to find something positive in each day.  I once stuck a great big piece of paper on my bedroom ceiling with a question written on it, ‘What are you feeling positive about today?’

With love, peace and hope for a positive day,


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