In desperate times, putting pen to paper has been the safest way to spill out the ramblings of my madness. More recently, I have found bringing these themes together into volumes has served to bring some clarity to the thoughts that plague my mind. I’ve also experienced many things to be grateful for in life, not least the privilege of travel and witnessing cultural challenges and differences outside of my own existence. At times this has allowed me to navigate my way out of this dark place in my mind and find hope. During these times poetry has continued to be my companion and a trusted way to voice my experiences.
Success can be measured in many forms … For each of us, the definition of success may be different. This pocket-sized book from JAcOB is an easy, go-to aid, designed to help those living with depression to thrive.Purchase in Shop
Note: A percentage of all sales of this item will go to specified charities.
In this volume, I reflect upon the ups and downs of the numerous roads I’ve travelled, all of which have led to loss of some kind. I particularly reflect on a wonderful Human being I was fortunate enough to journey with for a while. I found the ending of this part of my life was tormentous for us both. For me, a stark realisation that my emotional instability would, in short shift, ruin a very special relationship … and very possibly the chance of any relationship.Purchase in Shop
Volume 2 offers an insight into some of the darkest and most troubling times I’ve experienced. I’ve fought hard to keep a business alive and to keep people employed, at the same time as having to face the injustice of an international judicial system that has failed me as a father.Purchase in Shop
In volume 3, I’m able to explore the many different cultures I’ve experienced and how this leads me to reflect upon things in a different way, dependent on where I might be and what I might be experiencing. I’ve been fortunate to travel, but each place brings a different perspective and interesting challenges.Purchase in Shop
In volume 4, I look at how living with depression takes its toll. On family, on friends, on people we meet and above all, on ourself. Emotions come and go, bitterness, frustration, disappointment, anger, sadness, hatred and self-loathing. And I struggle to know myself and my reason for being, to make a connection and to feel something other than the pain caused by my mental health. To share, to love, to be content.Purchase in Shop
JAcOB’s journey continues through the writing of this intriguing volume … his exploration of humanity, of happiness and sadness, of indifference, of rabid hunger for fairness and of a reflection on the world we live in, are all explored in this new collection of poetry.Purchase in Shop
JAcOB is just an ordinary bloke … and that’s the bottom line. Truth is, I am still – and expect to be as long as I live – dealing with the demons of my past and the loss of my children. This is why I try to “bust” my way out of the sterility of the world I live in and try to see people in other places who are not as lucky as I am. I have travelled around the world seeking solace and have found none yet. However, I have met some phenomenal people and experienced the weird and the wonderful, and witnessed the abhorrent and despicable poverty that people are born into by chance of geographical location. I want to help people through my music, my poetry and my time and energy. I am just an ordinary bloke who is doing his best. ‘The Voice in my Heart’ is a collection of my poems, inspired by what I’ve come across on my travels, and I hope they will resonate and bring a little light into your darkness.Purchase in Shop
JAcOB is just an ordinary bloke … and that’s the bottom line. I have been contemplating how, collectively, a lot of us talk about fighting the darkness and embracing the light. I want to ask this question … What if we embrace the darkness? A part of my being is called ‘the darkness’. You see, in a moment of realisation, I started to ask myself, ‘What if I don’t fight “the darkness” anymore and accept that it’s just a part of me … would that be bad?’ ‘It’s Still So Dark in Here …’ explores my most recent Ramblings, where I’ve tried to express my grief at the loss of loved ones, and how my darker side plays a role in all aspects of my life, and the lives of those I care about.Purchase in Shop
JAcOB is just an ordinary bloke … and that’s the bottom line. I’ve written so much poetry and yet I question whether I have learnt anything on this journey. I fi nd myself back in the depths of darkness wondering if there is any point to living. As I continue to use the medium of poetry to explore the darkness that falls on me, the familiar injustices come back time and again. The hurt and pain my existence causes others and the awareness that it is those closest to me that suffer the most is the worst reality. Yet, I refuse to use my depression as an excuse for my actions. So why do we hurt those we love the most? Unable to fi nd an adequate answer, this volume of poetry again questions whether my existence is the issue. In spite of my current demons, the love of those closest to me is unfailing and it constantly amazes me that these precious people are willing to be associated with me through it all.Purchase in Shop
JAcOB is just an ordinary bloke … and that’s the bottom line.
I’ve heard people say that poetry is dangerous because it leads you to use terminology that you wouldn’t use in conversation. Maybe that’s true but for me it offers a safe place to be real and honest.
As I embark on the penultimate volume of The Ramblings of my Madness, I explore what I have learned through my writing journey. I question whether there has been any gain other than it being a channel for my love, my hate, my hurt, my fate, my contempt, my passion, my exploration and my reason.
I conclude that maybe I have learned a little more about human nature and the importance of being true to yourself. After all, I would rather be hated for being true than loved for being untrue.
JAcOB is just an ordinary bloke … and that’s the bottom line.
And so here we are at ‘The Ramblings’ End’. I seem to have exhausted every emotion possible throughout this journey. I’ve stared many scenarios squarely in the eyes and attempted to view them from different perspectives. Throughout all the volumes, I have remained ‘just an ordinary bloke’ spilling my soul, love, hurt, hate, contempt and, occasionally, hope onto paper.
In my life, I’m all too aware of the pain I’ve caused others and I hope I have learnt from this and from those who have hurt me along the way. In this final volume, I reflect on those experiences that have shaped me and I continue to explore the ideals of justice and acceptance. My desire is and always has been to shed light on living with depression, to break the stigma experienced by many, and to open the possibility of embracing the darkness. I must conclude, and do so willingly, that I would rather live with ‘my darkness’ and be creative, than be unaffected by depression and remain uncreative.
But for now, metaphorically, my feet are sore and I need to take off my boots!Purchase in Shop
Dear Young People, Mums, Dads, Big Brothers, Big Sisters, Aunties and Uncles, Nannies, Grandmas, and Grandads and all people who have the privilege of having young people in their life! This is a collection of poems, which I hope cause some joy, some positive thought and maybe some practical ideas. It serves to provide fond memories for young people in growing up, memories of sharing poems at bedtime with loved ones or on their own.Purchase in Shop